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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

::kadang-kadang saye BENCI sangat pade diri saye::



Nobody can measure how much the HEART can hold~!

I don't know what exactly I really wants in my life, whats can make me happy and keep me smiling all the time..am keep telling myself that am happy but deep down inside my heart I know I just lying to myself. Keep lying until my HEART can't hold anymore~!

I am realizing the facts that in life, we can't hold certain things forever and ever...Maybe now is the right time, so I am in the middle of the learning process to let go. Frankly speaking... its hard, really really hard to let go all the people whom you care the most. But knowing the facts that they are letting you go all this while actually is the hardest~! I will accept it with an open heart but its need some times. Furthermore, I don't know where to begin and how to begin actually.


sometimes, I just hate myself for being so fragile~! really really hate until I feel like am dying~!

*frown*

Somebody, please help me because am in pain rite now...I need someone shoulder's to cry on, someone who will let me cry on their shoulder with no doubt...someone who can lend their shoulder without asking me anything and someone who will understand me although am not telling them anything. I know I rarely can find someone like what I have mentioned above but at least I can keep on telling myself and my heart that there are still got people who still care about me..owh! lying again~

They no need to fully understand me because until now me myself also still searching for the real me. Who am i actually? I also don't have the answer....

What I need them to do is just being there for me to wipe my tears, to comfort me and to make me feel better? Maybe am asking to much...However, I should bear in minds that only me myself can help me not the others. They get into life to make life lively and happening.

I never have been through all this thingy...I don't know it will affects me so much~! am really in pain. Its truly hurt me, hurt me so much~! I lost myself although the fact shows that I didn't really know who exactly ME actually, but I still want to claims that I lost it~!I lost the very own me~!

*sigh*

OMG~! I don't know where and how to find the girl with the name ROSMAWAR ABDUL MANAF which have the body, the minds and the soul that synchronize together~! How to understand myself??? I believe once I found the answer for that question...the chances to have the real me is become higher and higher....

I hope I can go through all this thingy. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe all this things is actually to makes me remember of Allah and doing something which can make me nearer to Allah. Maybe I am enjoying so much until I forgot about HIM. ALLAH am seeking for YOUR forgiveness~!

Tough time will disappear but tough people remains. I am looking forward to see all the sadness flies away on the wings of time....



p/s: adoiiiyaii, terpengaruh ngan cite sepi la nih..menci~! although my ENGLISH hancusss, I dont care~! thats not important at all...the most important is what comes from the heart, goes to the heart...



Sunday, September 27, 2009

hari ini



...gambar ini lansung tiade kaitan dengan raye sebab tahun ni tak sempat pon bergambar untuk hari raye...





thanks~!

kepade mereke..
kerna telah membuatkan saye rase bahagie hari ni...walaupon cume sebentar,

thank you so much~!!







*sedih bercampur bahagia sama dengan terharu...


Friday, September 18, 2009

::kad ucapan raye saye buat teman-teman::




to all my dearest friends and bloggers (if any),
for the thing I DID WRONG..
for words which MIGHT HURT,
for jokes you CAN'T TAKE,
and for debt I DIDN'T PAY
1o01 apologies~!




akhir kate terimalah pantun nukilan saye:-

hampir sebulan sudah kite berpuase,
menahan diri dari lapar dan dahage,
hati girang tak terkate2,
menanti saat tibenye raye ;)

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN BUAT SEMUA




Wednesday, September 9, 2009

::hanya satu perkataan sahaja dapat digambarkan buat masa ini::










~
rindu~









Thursday, September 3, 2009

::perasaan + saye = perasaan saye::



hati saye maseh pade mereka...kerna mereka akan sentiasa selamanya menjadi chenta hati saye~



KALAU BOLEH...
mahu bersama-sama macam dulu,
mahu macam dulu2 semula,
tapi saye sedar,
ianya tak akan pernah mungkin TERJADI lagi :(




* hargailah selagi kite boleh menghargai...sekiranye hilang, sudah terlambat untuk ditangisi..


::DEEP in my HEART::



di luar jendela...
mendung menanti hujan~!

hari ini, kosong...
seolah2 tiade perasaan, entah...sedikit bingung~!

saye, maseh di rumah...
menghabeskan baki mc 2 hari yang diberi doktor~!

walaupun mendung,
walaupun kosong,

tetap terdetik sesuatu di HATI saye...
ape yea....?

.....


Hurmmm~!
mungkin ini....


....




....






.....









mungkin ini petanda...



.....



petanda yang menyatakan...


saye RINDU barangkali~!

+___________________+'






Wednesday, September 2, 2009

::latest update-internship::



Saye sedang intership di AIA (American International Assurance company). So far okayla...bos saye Mr. Philip Ramadas yg ditugaskan menjaga saye pon sangat baek dan memahami ;) Sekarang ni saye ditempatkan di HR department mungkin dalam sebulan due. Setakat ni, keje tak banyak lagi, most of the time ikut Mr. Philip if die handle training or die organize event..Tak pon buat article untuk HR Buletin yang dipublish sebulan sekali, saye suke sebab ianye berkaitan dengan bidang yang saye belajar sebelum sertai FSTEP (Mass Communication sentiasa di hati~)...later baru die akan hantar ke department lain, contoh Corporate comm department ke, claims department ke etc.

kat situ pekerja die mostly Chinese while Malay and Indian just 10 percent je...So, most of the time we speak English. Hahaha, MAMPOS jugak la saye kat situ dengan English yang tunggang langgang. Naseb baik, Mr. Philip jenis yang membimbing walaupon die ni agak laser sket. Kalau salah die akan betolkan. Mr. Philip have high expectation on me coz i'm mass communication student. Die nak saye confident cakap omputih dengan semua orang...habes semue staff die ingatkan untuk gunakan 100 percent English apabila bercakap dengan saye. I wish I can fullfill his expectation~!

walaupon saye seorang sahaja student fSTEP yg dihantar ke situ tp saye tak terasa sangat la sbb semue staff layan saye dengan mesra..so far~!

Di bulan2 puase ni, saye dan staff beragama Islam yang lain dibenarkan balik pade pukul 4.30 ptg setiap hari....saye sangat suke, teeehehe~ Tapi walaupon balik awal, saye tetap sampai umah lambat...lebeh kurang kul 7 lebey baru sampai umah. Semuanye gara2 jem terok. Macam nak tercabot kaki dok dalam bas okay, ohoho...Well, ini hidup yang saye pilih, so saye harus bertabah ;)


saye tau saye boleh survive..Sampai bile saye nak dimanjekan, betol x? Dalam hidup saye kene berani kalu mahu kedepan...saye mahu berpegang pade pepatah ini (betol ke pepatah ni...ah, belasah aje la):

'tough time will end but tough people will remain'



ini saye bersame camera terchenta <33
tiap2 hari jumaat kene pakai baju AIA color merah ni


ini boss merangkap penjaga saya
Mr. Philip Ramadas, Senior Manager


ini tempat saye di HR Department
nampak kosong sebab tak tahu nak hias dengan apa buat masa ni..



::quick update::



saye sedang demam...

:(

Anyway, I'm NOT suspected with H1N1, just a NORMAL fever and headache,
ALHAMDULILLAH~!


cik rosmawar...berTABAHlah~!



* lately ni saye suke sangat menggunakan perkataan BERTABAHLAH, menggantikan perkataan chaiyok2 atau gambatte atau gud luck...terase cool la sngat konon2nye ;p




Tuesday, September 1, 2009

::sedikit update buat teman-teman::


rindu sama saye tak~?



wahai teman-teman tersayang...wah~ sudah agak bersawang saye abaikan blog pengarang jantung jiwe saye ni kan..

(baru tersedar...)

anyway, saye mahu titipkan sedikit update buat kalian2 yang sudi

:)

dun worry...saye tidak ke mana2 pon.. masih lagi wujud di muka bumi ni

cuma,

kebelakangan ini sedikit bz
menguruskan waktu
dan
perjalanan hidup
...perlu udara utk bernafas...

nanti, kalau ade mase saye update lagi yea (xpe2 saye akn curik mase okay, i have too...right now, i'm trying to manage my time properly, huh~! ekceli, i'm worst interm of time management...somebody, please HELP me~!)

banyak gile nak cerita sebenarnye~!
nak cerita pasal CSR,
nak cerita pasal OBS,
nak cerita pasal intership...

......mungkin, nanti kot~!...

anyway,
sepanjang ketiadaan saye ni...jangan rindu2 sama saye okay ;p

ja mata, sayonara~!




*attoiiiyaiii...sedikit headache + panas badan. ADAKAH saye mahu demam~?....harap2 tidak lah, tak sampai due minggu keje, badan dah rase semacam,huhu.. I wish my family would be here or i'm still kt kpg lagi +_______+




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