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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

::kadang-kadang saye BENCI sangat pade diri saye::



Nobody can measure how much the HEART can hold~!

I don't know what exactly I really wants in my life, whats can make me happy and keep me smiling all the time..am keep telling myself that am happy but deep down inside my heart I know I just lying to myself. Keep lying until my HEART can't hold anymore~!

I am realizing the facts that in life, we can't hold certain things forever and ever...Maybe now is the right time, so I am in the middle of the learning process to let go. Frankly speaking... its hard, really really hard to let go all the people whom you care the most. But knowing the facts that they are letting you go all this while actually is the hardest~! I will accept it with an open heart but its need some times. Furthermore, I don't know where to begin and how to begin actually.


sometimes, I just hate myself for being so fragile~! really really hate until I feel like am dying~!

*frown*

Somebody, please help me because am in pain rite now...I need someone shoulder's to cry on, someone who will let me cry on their shoulder with no doubt...someone who can lend their shoulder without asking me anything and someone who will understand me although am not telling them anything. I know I rarely can find someone like what I have mentioned above but at least I can keep on telling myself and my heart that there are still got people who still care about me..owh! lying again~

They no need to fully understand me because until now me myself also still searching for the real me. Who am i actually? I also don't have the answer....

What I need them to do is just being there for me to wipe my tears, to comfort me and to make me feel better? Maybe am asking to much...However, I should bear in minds that only me myself can help me not the others. They get into life to make life lively and happening.

I never have been through all this thingy...I don't know it will affects me so much~! am really in pain. Its truly hurt me, hurt me so much~! I lost myself although the fact shows that I didn't really know who exactly ME actually, but I still want to claims that I lost it~!I lost the very own me~!

*sigh*

OMG~! I don't know where and how to find the girl with the name ROSMAWAR ABDUL MANAF which have the body, the minds and the soul that synchronize together~! How to understand myself??? I believe once I found the answer for that question...the chances to have the real me is become higher and higher....

I hope I can go through all this thingy. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe all this things is actually to makes me remember of Allah and doing something which can make me nearer to Allah. Maybe I am enjoying so much until I forgot about HIM. ALLAH am seeking for YOUR forgiveness~!

Tough time will disappear but tough people remains. I am looking forward to see all the sadness flies away on the wings of time....



p/s: adoiiiyaii, terpengaruh ngan cite sepi la nih..menci~! although my ENGLISH hancusss, I dont care~! thats not important at all...the most important is what comes from the heart, goes to the heart...



4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rose..

Anonymous said...

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. luv de people who treat u rite & forget de ones who dun.believe dad everythin happens for a reason. if u get a chance..take it!if it changes ur life..let it.nobody said life would be easy. they just promised it would be worth it.

kita-Nona
manusia ada ati-

Anonymous said...

kamu...
saya rasa apa yang kamu rasa sama dgn ape yang saya rasa..cumanya saya tak mampu luah seperti yang kamu luah...
nway,kamu kne kuat!harus kuat!wajib kuat!taw..

tempe said...

mcm knal jek minah ni?

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